Harry Potter : Dead and Rocking
by RobPHunter
Summary: Harry Potter led a secret life and now in Death he's got another secret. He's a zombie. guided by the power of music and a messenger of death who takes the form of Alice Cooper Harry must fulfil his destiny while trying to stop himelf rotting.


The rain poured down over the cemetery of Godric's Hollow. The crowd dressed in black gazed solemnly as an onyx coffin was lowered carefully into the six foot deep hole. On the smooth lid was engraved a lightning bolt, a broom and a guitar. Music played from the CD player held by a large boy holding an umbrella. His name was Dudley Dursley and he was possibly the one person who knew of the deceased's double life. Half the crowd knew the occupant of the coffin as Harry Potter, The Boy-Who-Lived; the other half knew him as Love Strange, the heaviest drinker in Surrey, the fastest guitar player in the South East and friend to all.

Tears fell from both groups as the song Calling Dr Love by Kiss rang over the crowd as per Harry request. Even in death the boy had had a sick sense of humour, which a few within the cemetery didn't know he had. Handing out three sheets of paper detailing what he wanted at his funeral.

A priest walked to the podium at the head of the coffin. He stared over the sea of black. "Friends, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here to mourn the passing of Harry James Potter, otherwise known as Love Strange. Deception was a large part of Harry's life, hiding parts of his life from all his friends. I think there is only one person here today who knows of both lives, and while Dudley Dursley and Harry never really saw eye to eye for a great deal of their lives they became friends and proper cousins towards the end. I invite Dudley to stand."

The boy holding the CD player stepped forwards. Harry had changed his perception on things, shown him strange wasn't always bad and normal was as boring as watching paint dry. He straightened his tie and stepped to the microphone, pulling a sheet of paper from his inside jacket pocket.

"I know a few of you will resent me being here, mostly for the hell I put Harry through for a large portion of his life. This was encouraged by my father, and while that isn't an excuse I beg you give me a few minutes to say a few words." He took a breath brushing a tear from his eye. "I expect I am the only one who knew a little about both of Harry's lives, his school life and his home life. I can proudly say I can take credit for helping Harry become who he was at home. And while my actions were inexcusable, the man they produced was outstanding as I'm sure a lot of you agree.

"Harry, starting from when he was nine used to disappear a lot, and it wasn't until a year ago I discovered where. I had a gang, we were considered tough, and Harry also had a gang, a gang that my gang could not compare to. Harry's became a family to him, the family my parents and I never were. They loved Harry for who he was, they christened his Love Strange, I don't know why, maybe one of them can explain later. But from what I saw he was a different person around them. Confident, flirtatious, cunning and silver tonged. He released his soul and anger through his music, his mechanics and his fights. He was mischievous and sneaky. The number of times my dad's car broke down for no apparent reason, looking at Harry's accomplishments that reason is apparent. Harry Strange Love Potter was the toughest, kindest and most respect womanizing son of a bitch ever to grace Surrey and I am glad I knew him.

"Harry Potter was nearly the opposite of Strange Love. He was shy, rash, courageous and noble, too noble from some of the stories I've heard. A hero prone to rushing head first into danger, for the adrenaline rush, something he shared with Strange Love. People loved him in both roles, respected him in both roles and I think looking at the faces here today that both roles will be missed. God bless you Harry Potter and may god have mercy on your soul. See you down stairs mate."

He took another deep breath. "There are five others wanting to speak today. Judge Ray, Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Leanne Ray and Hermione Granger. Judge, Leanne, remember you're in a cemetery and in the presence of a priest."

There was a snigger of amusement from half the congregation.

Judge marched forwards. A red headed woman in the other half gasped. The man was clearly in his fifties or sixties and yet his head was shaved apart from six multi-coloured stripes on the centre of his head styled in a Mohican. His face was a mess of tattoos and piercings. He wore a black and blue pin striped suit with patches and badges pinned to it.

He walked up to the picture of Harry displayed. It was a respectable one of Harry in a red jumper. He snorted. "I think that I along with a few of us here would like another picture up here." He pulled a picture frame from inside his jacket and placed it next to the other one. In the picture was clearly the same boy, but dripping with chains and leather. He sat mounted on a Royal Enfield motor cycle with a girl behind him clutching his waist tightly. A cigar was clutched in his mouth.

"That's Love Strange." He told the crowd. "When I first met him he was a nine year old, bloody and bruised hiding in the yard I keep all my empty kegs and wreaked bikes. From what I got outta him his Uncle had 'Punished' him for getting better marks in school than his cousin. He fainted after that. I took him into the bar and my wife and grand-daughter took an immediate liking to the young scruff. After he came to he became one of us. We called him Dr Love at first because he loved the song. Strange and lucky stuff always happened around him; he had a knack for beating us all at poker and other games it was strange, Love Strange was born.

"He was a foul mouthed little bugger, but you couldn't help but love him. Could talk himself out of trouble in seconds, later on he could drink any and all of us under the table, he could fix anything, make anything. The kid was a legend, he was more than a friend of mine he was a nephew and son and the best kid I've ever met. Rock on Kiddo, see you on the Highway." Judge sat down after throwing his hands up in the air and giving the metal horns.

An old man with a long beard stepped up towards the podium. He seemed to radiate calmness and tranquillity, but also a deep sadness. "Life is about learning. And in the past few days I've learnt a lot about life. Things are not always as they seem people especially. Seeing and meeting the people I have today and how they know part of the same person I do has taught me never think you know everything about anyone, even a student you consider a grandson.

"A headmaster is not supposed to have favourites, but I certainly did and Harry was one. His rare sense of humour never failed to make me smile. He inspired confidence and loyalty within his fellow students and even though he didn't want it I can be certain in saying he had the loyalty and love of nearly every student within the school. Harry Potter I take my hat off to you, this world will never be the same without you."

Remus Lupin walked up. He was dressed in a moth eaten suit and his hair tied back. He smiled tiredly at the audience. "I never him grow up, I wish I did. I was there at his birth and his first birthday, but between then and his thirteenth year I was absent and I will never forgive myself for that. I wasn't his godfather, me and his godfather argued endlessly during Lily's pregnancy who should be his Godfather. Sirius won, but I like to think it was close. He wrote me a note shortly before his death, I like to think he was going to confide in me, but now I see it was a note proclaiming his intentions of doing something stupid. He thought he needed to do it alone, and I'm sure the one thing both Harry and his alter ego have in common is the stubborn streak and the willingness to do what he thought he needed to do.

"The boy was like a son to me and I like to think I was a father or surrogate godfather to him. I thank you Harry for everything you did for me and the joy you brought me. You're with you parents and Sirius now, don't cause too much trouble."

Hermione walked up, her cheeks stained with tears, her hair pulled into a tight bun. "Harry was my first friend. He was the first person to see through the intellect, the fussiness, as he put it border line OCD. He saw the frightened little girl who was scared she had bitten off more than she could chew. He's saved me in more way than one. I would be alone and friendless if not for him and his willingness not to judge. He was my hero, he was my brother and he was my best friend. I love you Harry Potter." She slowly steadily returned to her seat before erupting into tears.

Finally a girl walked to the front. Her hair was white, her skin nearly translucent and he eyes a bright pink. She was dressed like a widow, the veil moved off her face. She addressed the hole with the coffin in, not the crowd. "I don't know whether I should curse your name or cry it to the heavens. You're a right wanker for leaving me like that. I loved you Harry. And I know your loved me, we shared everything with each other, all our secrets, all out dreams and desires. I saw who you really where, the perfect combination of Harry Potter and Love Strange. You've been in my life for so long I don't know who I am without you. I knew something was wrong when Hedwig appeared at my window, no matter how many letter I gave her she refused to leave, I think she sees me as hers now. To look over me when you can't. I don't think I'll ever love someone like I loved you, I found the ring in the box of your bike, you were planning to propose and I would have said yes. I love you Harry and I always will." She sunk to her knees crying. A pair of Asian twin girls with dreadlocks walked up and helped her off stage.

Harry stood in what seemed to be a roadside bar. Hub caps and road maps decorated the walls with neon signs flickering. He walked over to the door and tried it, it would budge. He swore. Walking to a booth he sat down. His head hit the table, closing his eyes he swore again. Then there was a clink.

He looked up. A glass of whisky was in front of him. The hand that had just placed it was sitting on the table leading to the man opposite him. He gulped as he looked up.

"No fucking way!" he muttered.

The man's hair was matted, his face pale and gaunt. His lips were black with flicks of black shooting from the sides. Black lined his eyes with line going vertically across them. He was dressed in what looked like a leather tunic; there was a slight smirk on his face.

"No fucking way." Harry repeated. "Alice Cooper?"

The man smirked. "Sorry, just the form you would seem most comfortable with. I'm Death's messenger and I hate to tell you this, but for you School's out for summer."

"I'm dead?" Harry asked. His mind trailed back. He remembered writing a letter to Remus and sending Hedwig to Leanne, then- he clutched his head as memories seared through his head. Bursting through a set of double doors and coming face to face with an entire army. He fought bravely; flashes of the fight swarmed his brain, not clear images, just feeling and flashes of slaughter. The betrayal filled his heart. Someone had betrayed him. Who? He could put his finger on it, but someone had been there, fighting against him, someone who had fired the killing curse at him, snuffed him from life.

The entity that looked like one of Harry's favourite musicians smiled. "Remembering are you? The last few minutes of life are always the hardest to recall."

"And you're death messenger? And you look like Alice Cooper because?" Harry trailed off.

"People are always at ease in front of what they think are icons, heroes. Over the past few hundred years I've been everyone. King Arthur, Merlin, Queen Victoria, Dumbledore, Micky Mouse, you, Johnny Depp, Justin Bieber."

"Who's he?" Harry questioned.

Alice Cooper shrugged. "I get past present and future mixed up, but he's gunna be big in about ten years."

"Sounds like a Nancy-boy." Harry muttered.

Alice sniggered. "Oh he is."

"So I'm dead and I'm here drinking-" he took a sip "-Jack Daniels with a hint of lemon, with Death's messenger who looks like Alice Cooper." He sighed heavily. "Believe it or not I have had stranger days."

"I bet." Alice said plainly. "But you ain't dead fully. You still have a pesky prophecy to finish, kill a snake faced wanker who deserves worse, and trust me when you finish him off Deaths got some nice little torture plans for him."

"Ooh, can I watch?"

"Unless you wanna watch Voldemort get a pineapple shoved up his arse, no." Alice told him.

"Wait, seriously? Just a pineapple." Harry asked in disbelief. "After all he's done?"

"Got a better idea?" the singer look alike challenged.

Harry thought for a moment. "A pineapple wrapped in razor wire."

Death messenger erupted into laughter. "That's just wrong, but fun. I'll suggest it."

"You do that." Harry grinned slyly. "So I'm going back?"

"I suppose. You've been dead for six months by the time you go back. Your body will be – well let's just say it won't be very pleasant. When you get back you will instinctively know a spell which will regenerate you, if you're willing to make the sacrifice."

"You're saying I'll be a zombie?" Harry questioned. At Alice's node he sniggered. "Sweet."

"You're wand was snapped so Voldemort couldn't use it, so you'll have to find a new way to focus your magic. Using the few things you were buried with I'm sure you'll figure something out." Alice carried on, ignoring Harry's comment. "Once you've killed Voldemort you will have a choice, you can either die and rest in peace, or you can stay and live the rest of your natural – sorry – unnatural life."

"Okay, let's do this." Harry nodded.

"You'll have a few perks of being dead, but there'll also be a few disadvantages, you'll work them out. When you go back don't panic, you're buried six foot under Godric's Hollow Cemetery. You ready?"

Harry downed his drink. "Let's do this."

Alice Cooper put his hand on Harry's chest. "Awake!" he said. A shock rocked Harry's body. "Awake!" another shock. "AWAKE!"

In an onyx coffin under six foot of soil eyeless sockets erupted into life as two green balls of fire appeared where eyes should be, and the slightly decomposed, skeletal like corpse of Harry Potter shifted. He brought his hands up to his face and clicked his finger bones together.

"This is just – neat."

End of Chapter One.

Tell me what you think. Here's an extract from Chapter two:

"ZOMBIE!" Dudley screamed.

The corpse of his dead cousin staggered forwards. "BRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS!"

Dudley screamed again, a little urine escaping his bladder. The zombie staggered towards him and cocked its head. "Oh my god. Dudley did you just piss yourself?"


End file.
